Power Women: Author Alexandra Nicole Nolan On How To Successfully Navigate Work, Love and Life As A Powerful Woman
Keep an Open Mind — This is a tough characteristic to learn if it doesn’t come naturally. Being open minded is a must for a female business owner as they need to capitalize on every negative experience, event, or obstacle and view it as an opportunity for improvement. When I hit a “speed bump” my open-mindedness allows me to crank up the gears and get the creative juices flowing in another direction. This new direction may be contradictory to what I had originally believed to be correct, but being open minded help me to pinpoint opportunities for improvement.
How does a successful, strong, and powerful woman navigate work, employee relationships, love, and life in a world that still feels uncomfortable with strong women? In this interview series, called “Power Women” we are talking to accomplished women leaders who share their stories and experiences navigating work, love and life as a powerful woman.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Alexandra Nicole Nolan.
Appearing in Forbes and featured on “Yahoo’s Most Inspiring Influencers” list, Alexandra Nicole Nolan is a mom, self-made digital entrepreneur, author of The Unconventional Entrepreneur, founder of City Chic Living Blog and The UE Academy. She obtained her MBA from the University of Memphis, studied International Business Studies at Bournemouth University in England, and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Business. Through her newly released book, The Unconventional Entrepreneur, and her online academy, she dedicates her work to helping other aspiring entrepreneurs launch successful businesses to achieve the work-life dream.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?
Thank you so much for having me! I was born in Memphis, Tennessee but we lived right over the state border in Southaven, Mississippi. I moved around a bit as a child living in Nitro, West Virginia and also a suburb right outside of Chicago, Illinois before moving back to the Mississippi for high school. After graduating high school, I moved to Memphis to attend The University of Memphis for my undergrad degree in Business and have continued my college education through to my Ph.D. at my alma mater. Go Tigers!
Can you tell us the story about what led you to this particular career path?
After graduating college, I went to work for corporate America. I had the dream job! I was in my 20s, traveling all over the US, making great money, but there was always this lingering feeling of being unfulfilled in my work-life. I started my own brand of cosmetics while working in my corporate job (I had a background selling makeup for years while in college) and really loved branding and running my own business.
One morning, while on a business trip, I decided to inquire about potential retail space availability located on the little island town I lived in back in Memphis. From what I had observed, there was no availability but something told me to call and inquire anyway. I told myself, if there is a commercial opening coming up, it is a sign, if not, I will continue in my corporate job and lay this idea of being a business owner to rest. Much to my surprise, the building manager told me there would be a very rare street level commercial space coming available in 2 weeks. If I wanted the space, I needed to sign for it before it was listed because it was expected to be rented soon after being listed.
So what did I do? What any sane person would do… I instantly signed all of my assets away, without a business plan, and quit my corporate job. Not something I would recommend to aspiring entrepreneurs but I am so thankful it worked out.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
The most interesting thing aspect of my story, is where my career ended up. I quit corporate America to open a women’s makeup and clothing boutique, 7 years later I sold the clothing store to pursue a full-time entrepreneurial career as a national brand influencer and marketing consultant. Ten years later, my first business is still in operation. I love popping back in to shop when I am in town.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Confidence
In looking at the definition, per Oxford Languages, confidence really boils down to three components, trust, action, and appreciation. Feeling confident in the “truth” of yourself is having trust in yourself. One’s abilities would imply action, as there must be some sort of action taking place to realize your abilities. And while some would say that it is pompous to be so sure of yourself, I would argue that self-assurance garners self-appreciation which is essential for achieving higher levels of confidence. Each feeds off of one another in a never-ending loop that I call, The Confidence Loop. Trusting in yourself feeds into taking action, which feeds into self-assurance, which feeds into confidence, which then feeds into greater trust in yourself. And so, the loop continues.
Assertiveness
An assertive unconventional entrepreneur is a leader who will share their opinions on important topics and most importantly, know when to say no. Saying “yes” to everything that is put in front of you will uproot your strategy and your business will suffer. This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.
Adaptability
In my opinion, adaptability is the second toughest character trait needed for entrepreneurial success, right behind confidence. It is so hard to take what life throws at you in the moment and make executive decisions at the same time, yet a master of adaptability does just that. An entrepreneur will experience bend and flex daily. Being able to creatively absorb changes and turn them into opportunities or push them out of your path based on what they can or cannot bring to the table, will help you to minimize stress and run a tight ship.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. The premise of this series assumes that our society still feels uncomfortable with strong women. Why do you think this is so?
I actually just read a bunch of studies about this in my management Ph.D. Class. Studies show that women, over men, are expected to be more communal in their behaviors versus agentic. This means, while men are expected to be direct, to the point, more assertive; socially, women are expected to be kind, nurturing, and empathetic. It is a fact that women carry more communal characteristics than men, and while this helps with communication tasks in business, it’s isn’t generally viewed as a leadership trait. When we do see women in top level management positions, there is a stereotype that she must carry more agentic traits than the average woman and therefore is more of a cold, assertive leader, and while studies show that she will be viewed as a more competent leader than her male counterpart, this position, nonetheless, makes a lot of people feel very uncomfortable around her.
Without saying any names, can you share a story from your own experience that illustrates this idea?
There is a fine line between becoming too communal with your employees, and with women, this can lead to employees taking advantage. In my first business, the majority of my employees were college-aged and I was only roughly five years older than them. They came to me for mentorship about school and on some occasions, their personal life. I was happy that they trusted my advice and was thrilled to give mentorship, however consulting my younger employees with personal matters, tarnished the barrier of work and personal life.
Eventually, some of my staff began to treat me more like a sister than their boss and leader. Needless to say, some took advantage of the situation which resulted in a re-organization of my staff. I learned the hard way to not muddy the waters with business and personal life. It is ok to “be there” for your employees when they need help, but I no longer give the impression that I am a relaxed, “hangout” boss.
What should a powerful woman do in a context where she feels that people are uneasy around her?
Be a team player with her subordinates. Take time to get on their level and ask them their thoughts about important business projects. This will show that she genuinely cares about her team’s opinions when it comes to matters of business and they will feel more valued.
What do we need to do as a society to change the unease around powerful women?
In a recent study, it was discovered that the communal traits of women are more favored in a leadership position over the agentic traits of a male, however powerful women tend to hide these traits as they do not want to be viewed as weak. Many women will even cover in job interviews to make their resume fit the job description, especially in male dominated positions, however research found that men do not seem do this. In society, we need to celebrate the inherent characteristics of women, especially in the workplace, and champion the benefits that these traits can bring to a team so women no longer have to feel that they need to cover traits that were inherently gifted to them.
In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by women leaders that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?
When a man does it, it’s ok, but when a woman does the same thing, people turn heads.
Traditionally, women were considered homemakers and caretakers. In many cases today, these roles have not changed, women have just had extra titles added to their repertoire. While we are expected to wear the many hats of traditionally female and male roles, we are expected to stay within the confines of what is acceptable to female behavior. The evolution of the woman in modern day is such a fascinating and beautiful thing to witness. I suspect the next step in this social evolution will be the acceptance of non-traditional behaviors.
Let’s now shift our discussion to a slightly different direction. This is a question that nearly everyone with a job has to contend with. Was it difficult to fit your personal and family life into your business and career? For the benefit of our readers, can you articulate precisely what the struggle was?
As an entrepreneur, I have to work extreme hours to ensure my business is a success. After all, it puts food on the table. Yet as a mother of two, it is a priority to spend ample time with my children. They are growing so fast and their time as fun-loving little kiddos is ever fleeting. It took several years for me to finally master the balance between my work and personal life. I actually have an entire chapter called Never Tip The Scales, dedicated to the topic in my upcoming book, The Unconventional Entrepreneur.
What was a tipping point that helped you achieve a greater balance or greater equilibrium between your work life and personal life? What did you do to reach this equilibrium?
Unfortunately it played a part in the dismantling of my family. The imbalance contributed to what ultimately ended in divorce and I knew that I could never let work prevail over my family ever again. I spent 4 years as a single mother and business owner, and while it was hard to balance everything, I always prioritized my children first. Their lives are too important to me to miss out because I am too wrapped up in achieving certain success levels within my company. Now, I put my work down in the afternoon when they get home from school so I can spend quality time with my family.
I work in the beauty tech industry, so I am very interested to hear your philosophy or perspective about beauty. In your role as a powerful woman and leader, how much of an emphasis do you place on your appearance? Do you see beauty as something that is superficial, or is it something that has inherent value for a leader in a public context? Can you explain what you mean?
In 2007, I branded a line of cosmetics, this was my first business. I worked in the beauty industry for 12 years after that selling my line and doing wedding makeup. I guess you can say my entrepreneurial career began with beauty in mind! With that being said, looks should not play a role in the success of a smart and dedicated female, or anyone for that matter. I think the most important thing here is that leaders should not place value on looks when building a team. A true leader will recognize an individual’s natural and unique abilities and value that skillset.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your opinion and experience, what are the “Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Powerful Woman?”
Keep an Open Mind
This is a tough characteristic to learn if it doesn’t come naturally. Being open minded is a must for a female business owner as they need to capitalize on every negative experience, event, or obstacle and view it as an opportunity for improvement. When I hit a “speed bump” my open-mindedness allows me to crank up the gears and get the creative juices flowing in another direction. This new direction may be contradictory to what I had originally believed to be correct, but being openminded help me to pinpoint opportunities for improvement.
Keep Your Leadership Style Creative
In my world, the epitome of entrepreneurism is creativity. Everything I do stems from this, including my leadership style. If you are not a very creative person, it could be challenging to motivate others. Traditional leadership is out the window and more innovative leadership strategies are taking the stage. Creativity helps you to discover a relationship between two unrelated items, events, or situations that when put together, solve a problem, strengthen a team, and create a completely new path for group success.
Passion
You MUST love what you do. Your success depends on it. You will not be willing to put in the extra hours or go the lengths to make your leadership successful if you aren’t passionate.
Create Healthy Competition Within Your Team
Everyone doesn’t get a trophy in the business world, or in the real world at that! You must be determined to ensure successful outcomes for your expectations by motivating your team to keep their eye on the prize. In my experience, this is done best by creating fun group competitions and joining in yourself. It is important for a leader to keep their team motivated when they aren’t getting a pat on the back.
Mirroring Abilities
Who do you look up to? Think about the qualities that make them a great leader. Why do people like them? Reflecting on those that you admire as successful leaders and then mirroring their technique helps to build upon your own leadership skills!
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
Sarah Jessica Parker! Of course I originally knew her as an actress and enjoyed her work, but it wasn’t until I attended her panel at a BlogHer conference in 2019 that I put her on a pedestal as the ultimate boss babe!
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
Power Women: Author Alexandra Nicole Nolan On How To Successfully Navigate Work, Love and Life As… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.