An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Communicate with your child about how you can be a better parent. When I say communicate, I literally mean ask your children how you can be better for them. These kinds of conversations communicate an open environment in the relationship where your child will be honest about what you can do better as a parent. Without the parent initiating these conversations, the things your child wishes you did will never be conveyed.
As a part of my series about “How extremely busy executives make time to be great parents” I had the pleasure to interview Bill Rossi.
Bill Rossi is an entrepreneur and veteran business leader in the Chicago area, as well as a devoted partner and father of twin girls, an inspirational LGBTQ+ advocate and a passionate proponent of health and fitness. He is frequently called upon to share the stories behind his many successful professional endeavors, as well as the challenges and achievements that have been part of his personal journey as a member of the LGBTQ+ community and as someone who suffers from the heart condition, hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy (HCM).
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us your “childhood backstory”? Can you share the story about what brought you to this specific point in your career?
I have always been a competitive person by nature. I used to compete in a lot of sports and was involved in high level strength training. However, during my late 20s, I was diagnosed with a genetic heart condition, Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, which put a stop to any physical type of activity. So, being the very competitive person that I am, I put all that competitive energy into my work. I never liked monotony in the first place, and pairing that with a drive to accomplish great things, I became a serial entrepreneur. I loved it. I loved the diversity and that combined with my competitive nature got me to where I am today.
Can you tell us a bit more about what your day-to-day schedule looks like?
As an entrepreneur with ownership in a handful of companies, I never get a day off. There is never a break. For my day-to-day schedule, I get up relatively early and check my email before even getting out of bed, because I get roughly 400 to 500 emails a day. When working with different entities from different cities with hundreds of employees, the amount of information that comes to me adds up. I am always facilitating emails and guiding companies throughout the day. I aim to end my work day at 5 pm every single day. In the evenings, I go to the gym 5 to 6 days a week for about an hour before spending time with my family. We might watch something as a family or go out for dinner, and, once I get home, I put my children to bed. After my children go to bed, I’ll usually work from then until anywhere between 10 and midnight. I would say I typically work a couple hours every night. Work, quote on quote, really is seven days a week — that’s why it’s so important for me to have that competitive drive and spirit.
Let’s now jump to the core of our discussion. This is probably intuitive to many, but it would be beneficial to spell it out. Based on your experience or research, can you flesh out why not spending time with your children can be detrimental to their development?
I do not have actual research, but I did minor in psychology and one of my courses was child psychology so I know the importance of parents spending time with their children. I’ve always looked at it as the parent being their child or children’s role model. You set the example for them throughout life and that starts from the minute they’re born. As they are growing, you always have to lead by example. Similar to what you do in business, that’s what you do with your children. For example, I never cuss in front of my kids, ever. It doesn’t make sense to tell children to avoid something you yourself do in front of them — you have to set a good example.
As a gay man, my partner and I had to pay six figures between legal fees, agency fees, donor fees and surrogacy fees to have our own biological children. For other couples, it can be much easier to have children, and many people haven’t had to go through the committed process my partner and I have had to. We made a conscious decision to bring children into this world. Because of that conscious choice, I have also made a conscious choice to spend as much time as I possibly can with them. I want to give them a really good life and give them the luxuries in life that I didn’t have growing up.
On the flip side, can you give a few reasons or examples about why it is so important to make time to spend with your children?
In romantic relationships, cheating or scandalous behavior is often caused by one or both of the parties not doing something in that relationship. That behavior causes people to stray. In similar ways, if you don’t pay attention to what your children are doing, they’re going to stray, whether that be hanging out with bad kids or making bad choices. I try to stay extremely involved in my kids’ lives while at the same time not smother them. I want to know every single friend they have because you are a product of your environment and birds of a feather flock together. I know in my childhood whenever I did something bad growing up it was because I was around kids who made bad choices. Based on my own experiences growing up, and watching other’s experiences, I want to make sure I stay present in my children’s’ lives and know what they’re doing.
However, I am not a helicopter parent. I let them live their life. I let them make choices and decisions. I try to guide them as best as I can and give them the information they need because they are going to make mistakes. But that is how you learn. In the end and in my opinion, I feel like if you are not present in your kids’ lives, there is a lack of caring on your part.
According to this study cited in the Washington Post, the quality of time spent with children is more important than the quantity of time. Can you give a few stories or examples from your own life about what you do to spend quality time with your children?
One of the most important examples I can give is that, for the past seven years, my children have participated in an elite level soccer club that has activities five days a week. I have literally missed less than a handful of games (even the ones in other states) in those seven years. By making it a priority to watch them play at practice or a game, I am able to be present for something that is extremely important to them. Same goes with academics: when they do things in school, like receive honors or even to be inducted to the National Honor Society, I make it my number one priority to attend.
This story I am about to tell is not a joke. After I had open heart surgery, I went to one of their soccer games on the way home from the hospital after being discharged. Every other person at the game that day thought I was crazy, but I wanted nothing more than to watch my children play, because I hadn’t seen my children for a few days, the two most important people on the planet to me, for four whole days after going through something that could have potentially killed me. That is an example of what happens when you care about your children and want to be involved in their lives.
Can you share with our readers 5 strategies about how we can create more space in our lives in order to give our children more quality attention? Please include examples or stories for each, if you can.
The number one aspect I would preach to people who are working on their relationship with their kids is to implement boundaries, especially with external forces such as work life. As mentioned before in the interview, you need to be a part of your child’s life in order to make sure they are around the right people and on the right path for success. Boundaries help to ground you and refocus your attention on your priorities, your children. By setting work-related or other types of boundaries for yourself, you have more space to create and foster a relationship that benefits your kids and overall family.
The second strategy would be to make a concerted effort to be there for your child. The work you have will never go away, life never stops moving, but you need to make an effort to be there because as all parents know the time flies and suddenly your kids will be full grown adults. As I mentioned earlier, even with a busy schedule and tons of work, I will make an effort to take my laptop and work as I watch my children practice for their soccer team.
I also think that, when we set aside that time, we need to make sure we appreciate it. Fully unplug and have quality time with each kid separately and together. For example, our family used to go to the Lake of the Ozarks every single year and it was amazing because of the quality time we were able to have while we were away from our phones (you don’t get very good reception in the Ozarks). In everyday life we are so plugged into technology to the point where it is almost vital to have time to unplug, especially with your family.
The fourth strategy is to learn how to adapt as a parent. For anyone that is not a full-time parent, life and work can be difficult to juggle at times. The skill of adapting is used to create quality, not quantity, time for your children. By adapting and changing your own schedule for meaningful events your children have, they will notice and appreciate your presence more than if you are there more often but not fully engaged.
Finally, communicate with your child about how you can be a better parent. When I say communicate, I literally mean ask your children how you can be better for them. These kinds of conversations communicate an open environment in the relationship where your child will be honest about what you can do better as a parent. Without the parent initiating these conversations, the things your child wishes you did will never be conveyed.
How do you define a “good parent”? Can you give an example or story?
Being a “good parent” is up for interpretation. I am the type of individual that does not put people in boxes like that. If the child is cared for and is living a happy life, that is the only thing that is important to me.
How do you inspire your child to “dream big”? Can you give an example or story?
When I show my kids all that I have accomplished and the honors I receive, I tell them what I have told them since they were little: you have to do what you love. You have to love what you do and you have to like the people you work with, because you are going to be doing it for the rest of your life. I’ve tried putting that impression on them since they were little. I also tell them you can be anything you want to be. Both of them want to be professional soccer players and I just tell them to put their mind to it, set the goal, and you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. My job is to just give constant reinforcement when they have their bad times to help them get their confidence back and to never give up on their dreams.
How do you, a person who masterfully straddles the worlds of career and family, define “success”?
I define success as achieving the goals that you put in front of yourself, so personally, I will never hit that point of “success”. After all, while many of the goals I set around 10 years ago have been accomplished, I’m always setting and striving for new goals, whether they’re financial, material, or a different focus completely. I am always striving for continued happiness and success in my life.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a better parent? Can you explain why you like them?
I don’t have much time to listen to podcasts, although I wish I did. I do read a lot of executive coaching books because there’s always something new to learn. “Traction: Get a Grip on Your Business” by Gino Wickman is one of my favorite books of all time. Other favorite books of mine are “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” by Patrick Lencioni and “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My heart problem has definitely given me a different perspective on life. My favorite quote is, “Live everyday as if it’s your last.” As I’ve mentioned, there is no cure for Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and I don’t know when my last day will be so I try to make a conscious effort to live every day to the fullest extent.
If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Currently, I’m working with the Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy Association to create an HCM Awareness Day and to pass legislation for the HCM Act in all 50 states. Since not many people are aware of HCM even though it is the 2nd most common form of inherited heart disease, I want to bring awareness to the general public on what my heart condition is and, in turn, get more people tested for it while we’re also encouraging medical professionals to one day find a cure.
I’m also trying to make the world a better place simply by spreading and showing kindness. I believe that everyone can always work to be a little bit kinder in this world.
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Bill Rossi On How Extremely Busy Leaders Make Time To Be Great Parents was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.